At the Orange County Community Foundation (OCCF), we believe a meaningful legacy is not defined by wealth alone—but by the values, passions, and purpose that shape a life. That conviction was the focus of The Heart of Legacy: Family Values & Purpose, a recent event hosted by OCCF designed to inspire individuals and families to embrace the joy of giving and the lasting impact they can create through a philanthropic legacy.
For more than 35 years, OCCF has served as a trusted partner for those seeking to make a difference during their lifetimes, and to ensure that their philanthropic vision endures for generations to come. As OCCF’s CEO Shelley Hoss explained during her opening remarks, “Tonight’s topic speaks to the deep roots and core DNA of community foundations.” She shared the story of beloved legacy donor Betty Steele, who, after the sudden loss of her husband, turned to OCCF to both honor his legacy and discover her own philanthropic voice. “Over 18 years, we were her eyes to the world,” Hoss said. “And now that she’s gone, OCCF continues to speak the Steele family name through every grant made from their permanently endowed fund. That is what it means to steward a legacy.”
Following that reflection, Shelley introduced the evening’s keynote speaker, Harmon Kong—author of Values Over Valuables and founding partner of Apriem Advisors. Kong embodies a values-based approach to both wealth and family, making him an ideal voice to explore the question at the center of the evening: What are we truly passing on to the next generation?
Kong delivered an inspiring and deeply personal talk about passing down purpose—not just possessions. He urged attendees not to just give their kids something to live on—but to give them something to live for.
Kong began by emphasizing the importance of partnering with a trusted philanthropic institution to steward meaningful, lasting impact. Then he posed a provocative question: Would you agree that the happiest people are often the most generous? Citing research from UC Berkeley, Kong shared that generosity is not only fulfilling, but also transformational. Generous people, he explained, tend to be content and purposeful.
“Contentment is not having everything you want, but wanting what you have,” he said. “And purpose comes from sharing what you have with others.”
Generosity, he added, has been linked to stronger immune systems, better mental health, and longer, more joyful lives.
Kong’s remarks turned personal as he recounted his childhood in Hawaii, growing up in a modest home filled with values but not wealth. He shared the Hawaiian concept of Ohana—that everyone in the community is treated like family. Those early lessons shaped how he raised his own children and inspired his family’s tradition of regular meetings centered around communication and shared values.
Kong described how philanthropy was introduced to his children through monthly allowance discussions. Each month, the family decided together how much to save, how much to spend, and how much to give. Everyone contributed, and decisions were made collectively teaching the value of generosity from an early age.
He then introduced what he called The Inheritance Dilemma, asking: Are we preparing our heirs to handle wealth—or just to receive it? He cited startling statistics: 70% of wealth is lost by the second generation, and 90% by the third generation. He contrasted the downfall of dynastic families like the Vanderbilts, who lost their wealth by the third generation, with the enduring legacies of Andrew Carnegie and Warren Buffett. “What are you really passing on?” Kong asked. “Legacy is built on culture, not just currency.”
Drawing a parallel to the workplace, Kong noted that companies invest heavily in building strong cultures through mission, vision, and values—yet most families never have those conversations. “What if we treated our families like the most important organization we’ll ever be part of?” he challenged. Open conversations about money, values, and shared purpose, he said, are essential for preventing division and building connections.
Hoss offered reflections: “I have seen real damage in families who avoid talking about money. But when families embrace these conversations, they become more aligned, more unified, and more empowered to make a difference.”
Even now, Kong’s family—grown children and significant others included—holds regular family meetings rooted in purpose. At a recent session, he asked each person to answer the prompt: “I find it absurd we live in a world where…” For example, “I find it absurd we live in a world where all people do not have access to fresh drinking water.” The exercise, he explained, sparked insights into what issues each person feels called to address and strengthened their collective sense of mission.
Following his keynote, Kong led attendees through a hands-on values discovery activity—helping families reflect on what matters most and how those ideals might guide their giving, now and for generations to come. Too often these conversations are absent, but when prioritized, they become a pivotal opportunity to engage the family in how they can live their values every day.
Margita Labhard concluded the evening with heartfelt stories of legacy in action and a powerful reminder of OCCF’s role as a lifelong partner in our donors’ philanthropy. Whether you are a seasoned philanthropist or just beginning your charitable journey, OCCF is here to help you define your goals, align your giving with your values, and direct resources where they will create the greatest impact. We walk alongside our donors not only during their lifetimes—but also in stewarding their legacy with care, integrity, and enduring purpose for generations to come.
For those who could not attend, OCCF invites you to connect with our team and explore how your family values can become the foundation of a legacy that lasts—for generations and beyond.
